An Association in Sharing
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YOUNG MAN, MAN AND MENTOR - FATHER / MOTHER & SON, Young WOMAN.
GESCHIEDENIS INITIATIES
YOUNG MAN INITIATION
Among the Romans, a boy received his first official rights and responsibilities after the change of teeth. You became a man as soon as the men of your community recognized you and organized a rite of passage. Often these teenagers left home and joined the military or apprenticed with a mentor. The Romans also played a major role in the disappearance ofInitiations in adulthood in Europe. But about that, and more initiation history in the opposite column.
Depending on their emotional development, I initiate boys into young Manhood or Manhood. Most teenagers realize around the age of 14 that they are no longer a child. I'll give you the opportunity to prove that.
From the age of about 18, boys can also try to go for the title of Man.
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INITIATION TO MAN
What makes a man a Man? That's a good question and many books have been written about it in recent years. Ultimately, you decide who you are, or rather, who you want to be. Yet there are social standards that determine whether you are considered an adult and can be held accountable for it.
Dr. Arne Rubenstein, who brought back initiation to Australia, included a table in his book 'The Making Of Men'child psychology versus healthy adult psychology and thus provides insight into where some tinkering can still be done. Usually an initiation into Man is a process that takes about 5 weeks. Naturally, the more time we have, the more we can go into depth.
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MENTOR INITIATION
Our evolution has ensured that older people are motivated to initiate their young people into adulthood through a feel-good hormone. Passing on knowledge and skills is part of the survival of our species and every time a student adopts and integrates something, the teacher gets a good feeling.
In addition, as humans we also get a sense of purpose when we do something for something bigger than ourselves. And our community is bigger than ourselves.
The young people in our Western world are crying out for mentors and positive role models. There is an extensive process that provides tools and background information to help men who feel called to do initiation mentor work.
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FATHER AND SON
If the son takes a step, the father must also take a step. Since 2007 I have been organizing for Vaders & Sons, an inspiring initiation week. Such a week can have an enormous impact and deepen the bond between father and son. Doing men's things with your son, but especially being together and having contact, is often lost in the busy life of the Dutch father. The number of boys living between divorced parents is very large nowadays. In most cases, the boy lives with the mother and sees the father once every two weekends and during half of his school holidays. If all goes well, the son will see his father in a different light in his teenage years and will look for other male role models. A father cannot (by definition) initiate his son himself without the help of other adult men.
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MOTHER AND SON
“A woman can raise a boy, but only a man can make a man out of a boy.” And many single mothers sense this as a truth once their son enters puberty. They feel how they need to let go, but instinctively have difficulty doing so. Some mothers worry about their sons until their own deathbeds. Not fun, and certainly not for the son who often unconsciously wants to continue to please his mother and thus never really find himself.
A release ritual is a nice way to cut the umbilical cord for the second time, or burn it in our case. After the son has been in the forest for 24 hours, we have a ritual to recognize and honor him. He makes his honorary fire and mother & son walk on either side of the fire with a red ribbon on their navel which will burn through.
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INITIATION (Young) WOMAN
Indi Hondema initiates girls and young women, guides adult women and shares her own experiences and insights with mothers who undertake a mother & son initiation. Interested? Contact her at indihvw@gmail.com for more information.
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Initiations into adulthood have existed since the beginning when animals began raising their young rather than leaving them to fend for themselves. The boy learned what to eat, what not to eat and what dangers lurked. A herd animal also learned about social behavior and leadership until the day came when he was ready to challenge the leader or be chased away to stand on his own two feet and create a herd of his own.
Of course, this also applied to Homo-sapiens and other hominids. Initiations took on an extra meaning in humans through the use of rituals. First at death, later in evolution at birth and transition to adulthood. It was the shaman or village elder who shaped and led the rituals, usually determined by tradition.
Every culture has its own form of initiation, but the content is often the same. An agricultural culture needs good farmers, while a warrior culture needs brave warriors.
Greek culture before Christ was famous for its initiations into adulthood. Boys had their own mentor (pedagog) and went to initiation schools to develop themselves.
When the Romans conquered the Greeks, the initiation schools were closed and mentors were persecuted and even killed. -A ruler can rule more easily if the ruled are not too strong.- A smart insight, but not so good for the generations that followed.
After the collapse of the Roman Empire, the Roman Catholic Church, initiated by Emperor Constantine, took over the discouragement of initiations in adulthood.
All life initiations and rituals were taken over from 'the people of the heath', the Heathens, by the Roman Catholic Church: The initiation ritual at thebirth it becameBaptism; Theteeth change and the end of childhood became theCommunion; Thepuberty was inaugurated by itConfirmation. The rituals surrounding thedead the Roman Catholic Church also took over.
The initiation tomaturity was omitted and meagerly replaced by the ritual of the churchwedding. If your calling was a spiritual life, your initiation into adulthood was theConfession.
Ultimately, popular initiations went underground for fear of persecution. Information about initiation was secretly passed on in secret societies and encoded in fairy tales such as Iron Hans, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, etc.
At a certain point,and in some Limburg villages to this day, the Jonkheid was created. Boys and girls went here to do things together, often church-related such as organizing a procession or Christmas market. Exit could only be done by moving to another village or by getting married.
But because the church had less and less control over the people, these last remnants of initiation also disappeared and only scouting and military service remained for the boys. In addition, for some there were pseudo-initiations in universities and colleges, but these were aimed at humiliation rather than empowerment and recognition.
Since 1979, military service has also been abolished and the ritual entry into the male world and being a man has been abolished. Of course, the need for recognition cannot be explained away from a boy and he finds his way within his own ranks. Gangs are an extreme example where the boys must first prove their suitability before they are recognized. This can involve drugs, theft, rape, fighting and in extreme cases even killing someone.
Youth workers in Australia have recognized that initiations are vital for young people and have reinvented the Rite of Passage. Now big in the U.S.A. and Canada, this wind has blown over to England. In 2013 I founded the Initiation Initiative in the Netherlands to encourage men and women to support our youth through initiations. Because the people who participated mainly lived in the Netherlands, Koningshart was founded with the aim of training mentors.
Little Red Riding Hood BY ABE THE NARRATOR
The initiation of the girl Little Red Riding Hood into a young woman. Very interesting!
